


Dirty Words

by hiidee



Series: Adventure Time! With Hide the ghoul and Ken the Human [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Also Kaneki has a sweet tooth bc I said so, Ghoul Nagachika Hideyoshi, He gets a swear jar, Hide feels homo for him, Hide is falling hard man, Human Kaneki Ken, Kaneki is literal baby, Kaneki is tired of Hide's potty mouth, Kuroneki is badass, Kuroneki | Black-haired Kaneki Ken, M/M, Making his ghoul crush all nervous hehe, Mentions of Kaneki's Aunt, Oh yeah a lot of swearing, Shes the reason he hates profanity, hidekane, kanehide - Freeform, sassy kaneki, they're really gay, this is so fluffy omg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 10:34:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20487476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiidee/pseuds/hiidee
Summary: Kaneki is getting really fucking tired of of his ghoul BFF'S potty mouth, so he gets a swear jar for his cute ass.Alternative summary: Hide curses a lot and Kaneki makes him stop (while packing a punch and eating his oreos)





	Dirty Words

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh I'm back after a few days on not writing (starting school is kicking me in the butt I swear) but I don't have much going on in life so I wanted to make more to my ghoul! Hide series. This really was inspired from a tumblr post but y'know, Kaneki and Hide wanted to be in my brain at the time. 
> 
> But please enjoy the second part of this series and leave a comment and Kudos if you would like to!

Hide had always knew Kaneki hated his vulgar language, but when his raven haired friend had taken it far enough to get a swear jar, he knew it was a bigger problem than anticipated.

Hide had always had a bit of a potty mouth, for as long as he could remember. He had his own vocabulary full of creative and vile insults, and he was proud of himself for his creativity in words.

Kaneki thought otherwise.

Hide and Kaneki had been walking home from a cafe across from college campus the day that the noirette had suggested a swear jar. As usual the ghoul was doing most of the talking, but he knew Kaneki was listening to him.

“So I got my test scores back and turns out, the fucktart of a professor decided to give me a C. After all the hard work I did he gives me a C! I wonder why I didn’t pass but you did. Obvious favoritism if you as me!”

“Probably because I didn’t fall asleep during the first 30 minutes of our study time, and watch your mouth before I pop you in it Hide.”

“Tch, your sassy today.”

Hide met Kaneki’s eye and grinned when he saw the smirk on his friends face. He secretly loved when Kaneki backsassed him or gave him attitude, he found it well.. Attractive coming from the usually quiet boy . Kaneki then took a deep breath and began to speak again. Hide barely heard his friend though, as the rosy lips that were currently moving and speaking to him were too distracting. Hide was grinning now, as Kaneki licked his lips before continuing with whatever he was saying. So red in contrast to the pale skin, Hide wondered what they would feel like against his-

“Hide! Are you even listening?”

Hide slightly jumped losing his train of thought, as Kaneki called him out on not paying attention. He put his hands behind his head in an attempt to hide the embarrassing, both of them turning the corner and getting closer to Hide’s house. These thoughts were getting out of hand!

“Y-yeah sorry dude, I kinda lost my marbles for a minute. What were you saying?”

Hide smirked when Kaneki let out a groan.

“I said, be careful around the ward. I heard that Doves were looking for a deemed 'dangerous' ghoul, and they might start looking around here next…”

Hide moved his arms from behind his head and moved Kaneki into a gentle half hug. He was so lucky to have a Kaneki in his life. He truly didn’t know what he’d do without the anxious dork beside him. He noticed Kaneki was blushing slightly, and gently holding onto one of Hide’s arms as well. Hide gave his signature smile and did his best to reassure Kaneki to to fullest.

“Your so cute when you worry about little old me like that y’know? But I’ll stay safe as long as you stay in the house at night, and if you do go at night just tell me so I can meet you and make sure you get home safe. Sound like a deal man?”

Kaneki smiles and squeezed his arm gently. 

“I promise.”

“But who do the CCG think they are? Fucking cowards, now if I break a quinque and shove one of an investigators fat asses I’d be wrong-“

“Hide, language!”

“I’m serious dammnit!”

Hide let out a laugh when Kaneki pushed his arms away. Kaneki crosses his own arms and started walking up the stairs to Hide’s home that they’d reached after what felt like ages. Hide caught up quickly, and opened the door to let Kaneki in. Hides house had mostly been clean (because of Kaneki from the previous visit), except for his table that was riddled with papers. Hide had gone to the kitchen to get Kaneki a glass of milk and some cookies (Hide had only really bought snacks and food for the petite boy so he can eat when he visited or spent the night) before going to seat himself by Kaneki at the now clean table that Kaneki had fixed out of habit. 

“Thanks for getting the Birthday Cake Flavored Oreos this time Hide, those other ones you had were nasty and made me feel nauseous.”

Hide chuckled at the noirette who was now dunking a single cookie in the cup of milk and munching on it happily.

“I’m glad I don’t have to deal with liking and not liking flavors, it’s a bunch of ass really.”

Hide smirked as Kaneki stopped eating mid cookie while giving him the angriest (more like cute and pouty) face he could muster. Kaneki then poked the blondes nose with a clean finger.

“Your so gross Hide, and what did I say about language?”

Hide smiled haughtily before pinching Kaneki’s marshmallow like cheeks.

“What are you gonna do about my language if I don’t stop?”

“How about a swear jar, Sir ‘I-can't-talk-without-using-dirty-words?”

Hide furrowed his brows as Kaneki quickly finished the cookie he was eating, before walking to Hide’s kitchen. The blonde was confused as he saw Kaneki reaching on his tippy toes to get what looked like an old jar. 

Was he fucking serious about this?

Kaneki finally came back to where he was sitting with the jar in his hands and a sharpie he found in the kitchen and set it down before writing, ‘Hide’s Swear Jar’ in bold letters across the jar. Hide scratched his cheek slightly before giving a worried laugh.

“Your not serious Ken, are you?”

Kaneki have something between a smirk and a smile before sipping some of the milk he had.

“Oh Hide I am most definitely serious.”

“Okay but how the fu- OW! Kaneki what the hell was that for?!”

Hide couldn’t even finish his sentence, because Kaneki gave a rather strong punch to the his right arm. He saw the boys smirk grow before he spoke.

“The game goes like this, If I hear you using any form of fowl language from now on you get a good punch from me, AND you put five dollars in this jar. Sound good?”

Hide looked horrified at the man sitting next to him. Kaneki sure knew how to pack a punch, it really fucking hurt! He noticed Kaneki had finished all of the cookies and was currently drinking the rest of the milk. 

“Y-yeah sounds good.”

“Good, because we start right now alright? The first one was a slip up. Your so lucky I’m a good friend and didn’t make you pay for that one.”

“Whatever you ass- GOD DO YOU HAVE TO DO IT SO HARD!”

Maybe Hide wasn’t ready for the swear jar.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

It had been only two weeks since the start of the swear jar, and Hide had lost about 85 dollars and his arm was sore.

Really fucking sore.

But not that Hide would admit it, but Kaneki’s little game had taken a toll on him. It felt weird to not call people things like ‘twatwaffle’ and ‘thundercunt’. But it did feel slightly better to know Kaneki was getting what he wanted. He always knew the noirette refrained from using any sort of profanity because it was ‘rude’ and made people ‘leave bad impressions’. 

It also had helped Hide get along with teachers better, and he was very grateful for the punches (not that he’d ever let Kaneki know) now. 

They had been walking from a bakery for strawberry danishes and croissants when Kaneki had started a conversation. 

“Y’know Hide,” he said chewing on a danish. “Surprisingly you’ve done good with the whole cursing thing and,” he paused again finishing the rest of his treat. “I’ve decided that we can stop, but only if you promise me to try and calm down the words alright?” 

Hide snorted before nodding.

“Yeah, I’ve learned my lesson. My arm will never forget your wrath, heh.”

He turned to face Kaneki and smiled when he was the boy smiling back at him. Hide then felt the need to ask a question.

“Is there a reason why you don’t like swearing really?”

He watched Kaneki look ahead of him, his smile dropping a bit. 

“Yeah.. Remember how I told you that my aunt wasn’t the best caretaker?” 

Hide nodded for him to continue.

“Well, she would yell at me constantly for the littlest things while calling me names, or just saying foul things… it just kinda makes me feel tense when I hear it too often.”

Hide frowned, before giving Kaneki a half hug. He felt the boy gently squeeze his hand as if saying, “Thanks for understanding.”

After that, Hide had learned to only use profanity for special occasions. Sure he had his slip ups, but he tried to keep a clean mouth.

For Kaneki’s sake.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so the sexual tension is rising but i swear i'll make them official in a few more parts hihihi  
also I really love Kaneki he just wants Hide to be nice and the right oreos 
> 
> give him more sweets and a stool


End file.
